Perfectionism: A Defense Mechanism, Not a Trait

Perfectionism: A Defense Mechanism, Not a Trait

“I’m a perfectionist.”

We’ve all heard it—or even said it ourselves.

From job interviews where it’s the go-to answer for “What’s your biggest weakness?” to moments of frustration when a dish doesn’t turn out just right.

What many people don’t realize is this:

There are different types of perfectionism:

🔹 Adaptive

🔹 Maladaptive

🔹 Self-oriented

🔹 Socially prescribed

🔹 Other-oriented

Today, let’s focus on maladaptive perfectionism:

That is, the perfectionistic behaviors that hold you back.

Here’s the fascinating part 💭:

• You know it’s holding you back.

• You’re frustrated by it—maybe even beat yourself up over it.

  
  

  Yet, it’s so hard to let go.

Why?

Because perfectionism is not an innate personality trait.

It’s a learned defense mechanism.

What do I mean by “worked”?

🔸 It helped you avoid punishment.

🔹 It saved you from a painful situation.

🔸 It ensured you were accepted.

🔹 It allowed you to be left alone.

In some way, perfectionism became your shield. 💜

But now, it’s no longer serving you.

What once protected you is now holding you back.

Here’s my invitation:

Take a moment to reflect.

Look back at your life.

Can you pinpoint when or where this behavior started?

What moments or experiences may have planted these seeds?

Perhaps there’s some healing to be done there.

And perhaps, it’s time to put the shield down.

Are you ready? 💪

Perfectionism, part 3: Join me this week as I cover perfectionism