“Is that what connection looks like to you..?”

“I’m constantly reacting to whatever they decide each day…

trying to keep things together and make it pleasant, and in the process, I’m completely losing myself. And on top of that, it’s not even working!”

The coachee looks desperate. 😔

Don't let desperation lead to the opposite of what you want to achieve

All they want is to create connection.

But the resistance from others to their tireless efforts to keep patching things up is weighing heavily.

“Then maybe I should just focus on myself—that’ll be my new plan! At least I won’t react spontaneously anymore, and I won’t keep getting pulled in every direction, which is just backfiring…”

A silence follows.

💭 And I ask myself:

“And then?”

“Is that what connection looks like to you..?”

I’m sharing this example to show how much our perspective can shift—

out of frustration 😵‍💫, anger 😠, or simply despair 🤷‍♂️.

Don’t let this happen.

P.S.: How did it turn out?

By the end of our conversation, the coachee had formulated a wonderful, positive, and connecting goal to work toward! 💜